Rihana to Feker - The night of Obama

Mitiye, Endet alesh? I'm assuming that you're asleep as i type these words. for some reason i'm unable to sleep and am engrossed with a feeling of lonliness and depression on one of the most important nights of our lives.

I watched the election in a quite comfortable lounge with three brunnett Americans... we cryied together and celebrated, this unbelievable night, a night we'll all live to tell of many years to come.

I heard the speech, impressed, i walked back to my room. Mitisha for some reason, contrary to what i thought i would feel, i'm engrossed in this feeling of total lonliness... weakness... hopelessness... is that even possible.

There was an article on BBC about Obama's extended family back in Kenya and the village they live in celebrating the victory. They had pictures of individual talking about what the election meant to them. They are hopefull... hopefull that Obama will be able to help their village and their country, hopefully that they will somehow be able to escape poverty through a man they call "one of them"... Mitiye i wondered how much of that would come true... not because he wouldn't be able to do that for them, i think he will, but i wondered of the real effect that will be seen in the village, given the political implications it would implicate... but that was just a stupid think that crossed my mind... you know what hit me - it him me, even as we stand at such a moment, there are millions of people who will never live to see a better day, lives who will never be touched, lives lost while we celebrate this vitory. This in no way diminish's Obama's or America's success in no way, but just think... with as great a hope as he preeched, it's still not great enough. I'm consumed by this feeling that no matter how big our hopes, it just won't be enough. This was the last thing i was expecting to feel tonight, given how happy and in tears i was only a couple hours ago. I'm back in my room, feeling empty and alone... and hopeless.

I know i haven't made much sense tonight, so i'll just stop and try to go to sleep. I don't even know what i'm feeling, i'm just going to post this and reread it tomorrow to see if i've even typed sentences.

I love you.