Sunday, August 3, 2008

Feker to Rihana: Rehearsal for Life

My dearest darling,

I swear Mitish there are very few things these days that make my day as seeing a post from you, dear friend. To jump right to the 'kumneger', all my life I had imagined that with 'the' guy I would, somehow, just know he was the one. Like you put so beautifully, BULLSHIT! It can't get any more Disney than that. Hode, I know these past few weeks have been kind of stressful, more so because like we said you ARE new to this. But more than that mitiye, I think we've been so conditioned to think that relationships don't need effort. Well babe, the friendships I used to think were effortless are proving to be challenging as well, never mind relationships. I know what you're thinking, some friendships are easier to maintain than others true, and maybe some relationships too but the truth of the matter is, it needs work, dedication, patience ... you can fill all the tiresome adjectives.

Mitiye, one thing though, I so wish this thing called loneliness did not exist. Its a human side that I wish I could just shove aside. Sadly its there. One writer said about death, "Most things may never happen, this one will." So is it true for loneliness I guess. But my question is "What is the price to pay?" I guess you've already gathered that I'm gonna be asking more questions, instead of giving you answers. I had believed in the kind of love that you see someone and you just KNEW that he was it. Hun, I honestly don't believe that exists. And its ok I guess ... not as romantic but all the same, life. What's important is to make a distinction between fairy tales and

Its weird that I should be reading this book at this moment because the author breaks it down real good.
"Was it better to be with Tereza or to remain alone?"
"There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, 'sketch' is not quite the word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture."
"What happens but once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all."

Aleme, while I don't particulary agree with his last point, there is some truth to his words. Sometimes life is so ridiculous to the point of hilarity. With some mistakes you can amend, with other chances, you are only given one and you hope to God you don't mess it up. Is that fair? Of course not but fairness has never been a word associated with life.

But darling, I do believe in one thing with all my heart. And that is our ability to make our lives the best it can be, even when other people are taking part in it. And in you more than scores of people, I have complete confidence of that strength. All you have to do, as cliche and ammateur as it sounds, is listen to yourself.

Mitish, I can't tell you how I was cracking up while reading your post. Especially about the "guy your dad was close friends with" and the "God like whisper in the middle of the night". LOL! I'm telling you, those novels might have screwed us up in more ways than we thought. Bicha Egzer alelin. Wedishalew darling, and hoping to read you soon!!! muaaaaaaaaaaah

Nafakish,
Ke gizatachin.

P.S. I knew you were a bit ticked off when you signed off as "Rihana" ... sounds so foreing lol

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