Darlin,
I realized, while reading your mail from yesterday, that I can't really offer you any good, better yet, any real advice. As you know, I'm very much in the dark when it comes to matters of the heart. To me, and to you too until recently, a relationship was tantamount to disaster. I don't know where we picked up those ideas but it is a fear that is still deep within me. Like you said, without knowing why, your ship has sailed. And you really didn't know why, you said. I think I do. I do think, mitisha, looking back you saw there was something missing and so you braved it. As much as I applaud your boldness, I also believe it was the natural thing to follow. What comes afterwards, mi love, is the true 'fetena' so to say. After all, its only worth it if you're willing to fight for it. So don't stress darlin, I have a feeling like everything and by everything i mean moving here, going to MoHo, and all the other countless challenges, some things take a while to get used to.
I am now sitting and writing to you dear friend, after a long day at work, a quick 'mekses', alone in the apartment, and a thunderstorm which reminds me of our beautiful 'kiremt' back home. Couldn't have asked for a better setting. Darlin, you remember when we always said how much of our blessings we took for granted? Well this week I found another one to make me ... i don't know if the word thankful alone would describe my feeling. Mitiye, bewinet new milish when people congratulated me during graduation I couldn't help but be surprised. At home, graduating from college was you duty, not a success that should be celebrated. Honors, yes ... a good job, definitely but certainly not graduation. And yet these days, I am reminded of how precious our education is. To the point where I almost feel guilty about it, our lives are so different from the average habesha here. I mean we had heard stories when we were in MoHo but to see it fit lefit is an effective reality check. I had somehow drifted off thinking that our lives were the norm, that everyone had time to ponder, reflect and ... i don't know, take the morning off if you wanted to. The reality however is definitely less rosy. Take for example a friend's boss who hang up on her when she told him she will not be coming in that morning because she was not feeling well. She had worked for him for the past two years. Or my other friend, though she is a professional, she got a witch of a boss who refuses to give her credit for anything she does. Through all this mitiye, i can't help but see how truly blessed, lucky I am and these thoughts instead of elating me I feel this guilt I can't explain. No matter how hard I've been trying, its something I haven't been able to shake off. Hode, I think i should stop here ... i haven't written half as much as I would like but my 'cheguara' for some reason tenestoal and i need to lie down. Will continue with my disjointed thoughts tomorrow. I love you.
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