I didn't want you to open our blog and not find me in it, so i thought i would just put in a few words to tell you that i've tried. Currently my mind is blank. I can't think straight. Mitiye, every day i realize our naive we are, and how much i don't want to let that go. Some times i have such a hard time understanding Mamo, because i can feel that a few years back he was almost me - believed in the possibility of a beautiful life and our capacity to embrace it. But now i fear that he has lost that. He questions everything, and i don't have the answers. I don't know why people betray eachother, or why "bad things happen to good people," I don't know why we fall in love and i don't know why... well there is much i don't know. But if there is one thing that i do know, is that i won't let all these negativities put me down. I want to be able to love and laugh at the same time. With him, though i think i am way past the point where i can walk away like i've done with so many. I'm in it way too deep to have the heart to do that. I'll stick it through, but what scares me most, ones past another point ( possibly the next point) it might be too late to turn back.
I think i'm also suffering from my constant inability to express exaclty what it is i'm feeling. I do try, really do try, and sometimes i do succeed. But other times, my love, i never find the right words, or the few word which come into my head just can't do justice to what it is that i feel inside of me.
Aderashen, yehen hulu selesh, don't think i've changed. Because my darling, i haven't. I wish i could tell you that i have, that this and that has happened to me and all that BS. I still can't wait til i start school, and i can't wait til i get into my dorm and have sunday brunch and find a cozzy corner in the library. But i think what has happened is, i've taken maybe another step in life, which either one of us use to never dare of. Don't ask me why i did it, or if it is even a good idea. But like they always say, yelm teferto sayetegna ayetaderem. Do i did do it. And i guess we shall live and see. I think i'll stop... i did start off with a blank mind, but i guess it did have a few random thoughts in it... and i didn't want to break your heart with an empty page - mechem lanchi beye, ye anboha termus west new megbat yemikeregn!!( Taruku's classic saying - mechem you remember him - 5 years temehrt bet yamelalesen)
I love you
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