From Rihana to Feker - June 15, 2008

Aleme, I called you a couple times and it seems life in DC> is kicking your ass. Well, i finally have found a computer> so thought it would be a good time to vent a little bit.> Sadly my venting doesn't consist of the derk in> Ethiopia or anything in that line. I won't be> articulate or attempt to go beyond my usual self... babe, i> will apologize before hand if my email sounds not just> pessimistic but plane... what's the word?... sad maybe.> For some reason today has been one of those sad days.> I'm scared of something which i do not know about. I> guess it's because i have a lot of time to myself and> don't have my laptop to keep me busy. I feel numb for> some reason. But most of all Mitiye, i feel like i've> lost something in me. Some sort of substance in me which> use to motivate me... you don't know...i had started> praying, and i'm so embarrassed to say that i struggle> to keep up. It kills me. There is just something i feel has> disappeared in me for some reason -> especially these days. And what is more contradictory is> that i've been in an environment which is so motivating> for that past week... i guess tonight seems very much> related to that one lonesome night in Cairo, remember?> Things feel dim, lonely... Mitiye, Mamoma baynor i> don't know what i would have felt like. I do think he> could not have entered my life at a better time. He wakes> me up every morning and it's him i talk to each night> before i go to bed. Would you think i was crazy if i told> you ___? is that even possible? The definitions might differ, but all i know is that he puts a smile> on my face and has never said a single thing to make me> feel weird... i feel like my email is very inappropriate as> a reply to yours, especially because of all the negative> tone it carries within it. I do apologize. > I really can't wait to graduate. i really can't.> I'm still praying everyday that my destiny leads me> back home. I was talking to Ha the other day and oh how> i wished i was there. i know i have no reasons to feel this> way, but i think i'm just feeling too lonely... or i> don't know. it's one of those nights when i want to> hide under my covers and think the world out of its> existence! i feel weak for some reason, i feel quite... Ayi> yi, ayesh Mamo endet endekeledebegn.. i feel i feel, ahun> men yemiyasbel neger meta... egzer yestew...> > becha aleme, i don't know what i've written so far,> if it is confusing to you... well it's cuz I’m in a confused> state of mind... i better go and ... well hope for the best.> i love you.